You insist on being friends, you insist on beating my heart with stick each time you see me, without noticing it. You always tell me that you appreciate my friendship and you appreciate my kindness.
If all of that is true, why did you mess up what we had. Why did you have to doubt me and cost me the only love I knew. Your insecurities did not only hurt you, it tore my being into a million pieces. I want to scream at you and curse you for making me believe that we could have had, something special. I envisioned myself getting old with you, I dreamt of asking you to move in with me and I dreamt of walking down the isle with you. You shattered those dreams with your negativity and your insecurities.
Now you still want my emotional support, you still expect me to hold your hand when you are scared. I am sorry, you lost that right the night you gave back my heart, after you trampled on it and let it roll around in the dirt. You lost my compassion the night you showed me that you had none. You lost the right to call me the only person who understands you because I can’t understand how you could hurt the one person who got you. The one person that tried to catch you and pull you out from the darkness, perhaps that was the problem, perhaps you wanted the darkness to consume us both and when you saw the light you froze up.
The truth is, I can’t do this, I can not be your person without the attaching feelings to it. I cannot be yours anymore! It was your choice, learn how to live with it now.