I find myself still looking at your picture and still wondering what you are doing right now. People always say that time heals everything, I believe that time helps to feel less pain, nothing more. No matter ho much time will pass, how many others there will be, if you loved someone, that stays in your heart. It stays deep down inside and you try to suppress it, truth is when you see that person again, the feelings come stabbing back. Trying to crawl and cut their way open to the surface.
Lying in bed alone and not knowing where you are, kills me deep inside. Sitting in a coffee shop without you, cuts deep inside my hart. I never really knew what love was, you taught me to love and you taught me what it was like, sharing my life with another. It was a great feeling waking up beside you each morning, sharing my first cup of tea with you and knowing that you would be by my side all the time.
I never understood how girls could cry when a boyfriend left them, I mean you are still young, there are more fish in the sea. That day when you walked out of my life, I understood, I understood that feelings can’t be turned on and off at demand. It can’t fly away with the other party, it stays inside, feeling like someone is standing in front of you and piercing a butchers’ knife into your heart. When your phone calls and text are ignored, it feels like that knife is being twisted inside and pushed in deeper.
Love is not something to take up lightly, its not something you should give away freely. The truth is that the person you thought might be the one, might be the one that shatters your dreams and kills your spirit.
Lessons are learnt during relationships, the important one I came across was not to give all in the beginning, just give her a taste of what it could be, don’t show her what it will be like. A gambler never shows all his cards all at once.